Killing Me Softly
by SkinnyLove16
Summary: Santana had an average life with a few friends at school and a normal job at a music store. Until one day she is saved by a certain blonde masked hero. Then Santana finds out that her Superwoman is following her for a completely different reason. Now Santana must choose between life and love as her own life is in danger.
1. Prologue

**A/N Okay this is a serious story now and I promise not to delete this one. I will finish it even if it kills me.**

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_"Thanks for that Robert. We now go live to Trisha for our top story of the night. Trisha?"_

_The image on the screen now showed an Asian woman standing in front of a store with police lights flashing behind her and herds of people standing around talking. Some were wrapped up in blankets with ashen faces whilst others were huddled together, looking anxiously at the authorities. Everyone was waiting to know what was going on._

_"Tonight saw the return of this town's mysterious hero as yet another store was targeted for robber. The workers and unfortunate people trapped inside were held at gun point by a man called Nathan Taylor who demanded that everyone handed over all their money, jewellery and valuables to him at once. When one woman started crying as she took off her engagement ring, Taylor started getting violent and shot the ceiling three times before our mystery man stepped in._

_"This is the third time he has been reported saving people's lives yet leaves no clue behind as to who he is, why he does it and how he even knows what is going on. One witness says she doubts it is a man as the shadow was too graceful to be male. Police are worried about this suspect since they do not know if he is a vigilante or just a Good Samaritan. One question now plagues everybody's mind:_

_"How long until this Superman demands something in return for his help?"_

_A sketch of a black shadow with a wave of yellow at the top occupies the screen then with a number scrolling along at the bottom. A voiceover asks if anyone has any information to call the police. The girl sighs before turning off her TV and slipping into bed._

_The satin sheets comfort her tired legs from a hard day of school then work and she quickly finds her eye lids feeling heavy. The last thing she registers is a flash of yellow on the shadow of her wall before she falls unconscious. _


	2. 1 Recognition

The long hallway slowly started to fill with half-dead students not yet awake. Cups of coffee were glued to teacher's hands and I rubbed my eyes in an attempt to get the sleep out of them. No matter how many times I wake up early for school, I never get used to it. I tried to open my locked but my brain was not fully functioning yet so it took me three attempts before I could move the door making me sigh. I hated school but not for the same reasons as everyone else. I didn't mind lessons or hard work but I just hated the people here. I only like two other students but the rest of the kids here make me want to blow my brain up.

I sighed once again before pulling my book out of my locker and slamming the metal door shut. It was only my second class and I was ready for this day to be over. I started the long trek to the Spanish classroom when I saw a flash of blonde hair before I was approached by Kitty.

"Santana, we have a problem. Our winter dance is in three weeks and I have no idea what I am wearing. Should I wear purple or blue? I know Jake is wearing a black suit but he won't tell me anymore. Maybe that's because his impotent mind can't understand that there is more but I am still stuck in this dilemma. Are you even listening to me?" She twisted in front of me and glared, waiting for me to answer. I stifled yet another sigh and began answering her.

"I am listening. Frankly I think purple would go better with your skin tone." I had no clue why I said that but her hazel eyes lit up and she smiled like I had said the right thing and hopped off before I said anything more.

"I'll see you at lunch!" She called over her shoulder as she strutted down. The crowd of people automatically parted to make way for her. It always amazed me how no one said anything yet she still automatically gets treated like a queen. Being friends with her meant that I also got some of the royalties she did, which was okay when I really needed something. But most of the time I was just annoyed by it. I didn't want to be noticed as much as I was. I was the type of person who would rather spend their Friday night curled up in bed with a hot drink and a good movie. Kitty would want to spend it out with a large group of people doing something extreme that nobody could believe on Monday. She loves all the attention and would do anything to keep it, even destroy someone else. It amazes me, to this day, that we are actually best friends. I guess being co-captains of the cheerleaders helps.

I swiftly arrived at my classroom, thanks to the people dispersing for me, and sat down waiting for the teacher to start. That was when I first heard the rumours of her. Technically, I didn't actually know whether or not it was a her or a him or even a person at all. But something had been stopping the crime in our town and everyone wanted to know what it was.

"I heard this guy has ten years of martial arts training along with ten years at the CIA. He's unstoppable!" Puck, another one of my friends, was very enthusiastic when he spoke.

"No way," Jake argued, "That would make him at least twenty and to get skills like that you have to be older. Like thirty or something."

"But he would be so old his bones would creak then!" I rolled my eyes at their conversation and willed the clock to go faster just so I could escape and be alone.

Lunch time came and I eagerly made my way to the cafeteria. I hadn't eaten much breakfast that morning and I was craving some of the school's French fries. They may not be able to cook much but their fries tasted like happiness feels.

I placed my tray down next to where Kitty was sitting and smiled a hello at our other friend Marley opposite me. There were many other people seated around us but I didn't care much for them. I slowly started chewing the first chip and had to supress a moan at how nice it was. It was then I noticed Sam, one of Jake's friends, staring at me and my portion of chips.

"You know if you're hungry you can buy your own food right? That's why it's up there." I snapped. I couldn't help being in a grouchy mood and he was not helping.

"It's not that. Aren't you worried you're going to get fat?" I looked round and saw everyone around us staring at me now as well. Kitty pinched my side and that was all it took to put me off my food. The once golden delight now looked like a soggy death trap. I pushed them away and watched Jake and Puck eagerly reach for them.

"I can't believe I'm dating that pig." Kitty whispered to me whilst nudging her head at Jake. Not only was he talking with his mouth full but some of the grease was dripping down his chin. I shuddered making Kitty giggle.

"Sometimes I can't believe anything you do." I said.

"That's because I am pretty unbelievable; I'm out of this world."

"You mean your ass is out of this world." I winked and she threw her head back cackling.

"Santana, your inner lesbian is showing again." Marley raised her eyebrows at me but I saw the smile playing on her lips.

"Only for you babe." I licked my lips at her and she started laughing too.

"What?! I thought you wanted me!" Kitty pouted and I shoved a piece of her salad in her mouth making her smile again. I knew people were staring at us again and I felt irritation flood my veins. All I wanted to do was have fun with my friends without an audience. Everyone observed and judged us yet no one had the confidence to say anything. Sometimes I wanted to be just an average teenager, not a social queen. Maybe I should dye my hair so no one could recognise me.

"Santana, are you a lesbian?" Sam asked. I seriously hated this guy right now.

"No. I was just joking. You know what that is bimbo?"

"It's just I've never seen you date a guy."

"That's because the guys here are gross and stupid like you are." The table got silent and everyone waited for an argument to blow up.

"San, let's go. We have gym." Marley picked up her tray and we left the cafeteria together with Kitty. As we got outside I saw something blur from the corner of my eye. I stopped walking and looked around but nothing was there.

"Santana, come on. I'm not running laps just because I'm late waiting for you." Kitty rolled her eyes and started walking away. I shortly followed after with the feeling that someone was watching me.


	3. 2 Fear

**A/N Whoop! I am nice to you people today ;) 3 chapters in one day, don't get use to it!**

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The rest of my classes past by slowly but eventually I found myself hearing the final bell and feel relief run through my whole body. I start the slow walk to my car wanting to experience this feeling for freedom for as long as I could before I had to accept that I was still trapped at work. Don't get me wrong, I love working at a music shop. But sometimes I just get so tired from doing something all day that I really don't want to be around people at all.

As I pressed down on the button to unlock my car I once again felt the strange sensation that somebody's eyes were trained on me. I swirled around and found nobody looking in my direction. Everyone was either speaking to their friends who quickly walking to whatever would take them home.

I opened the stainless black door and slid into the leather seats as soft as a pillow. The car smelled like perfume from where I had blasted some onto myself this morning and it was a toasty warm. I felt comfortable being in my car; no one could speak to me unless they were here too and even then they don't. I only drive Kitty and Marley sometimes and they either talk to themselves or we just listen to the radio.

I switched on to the local station and sung quietly along to a song as I drove to the old store. The paint had gotten a little dirty over the years and no longer held the fresh look it once did. Yet inside was beautiful. Rows of CDs and records lined against one another along the wall. One long column in the middle of sheet music and books about music. They even sold a few instruments at the back.

I walked straight to the break room and started to get changed. The red shirt with the word's _"Every Producer's Dream" _on it fitted me snugly and I sat by the tills and waited. One of my co-workers came out of the bathroom then and hugged me hello.

"We really need to change the store's name. _Every Producer's Dream _makes me sound like a porn star." I joked. Blaine's hazel eyes sparkled in amusement and he wrapped an arm around me before sitting down next to me.

"How was your day?" Blaine asked. Even though he was older, he treated me like I was genuinely one of his friends. I suppose we were friends but we never really spoke outside work. Yet he cared for me and I felt the same towards him so I consider us close enough.

"It was long. I'm just glad to be relaxing here now." He chuckled and placed a box in front of me.

"I wish we could relax but the boss wants us to stack some more CDs again. Apparently the people in the earlier shift are too lazy to do it so we have to." I rolled my eyes and grabbed a handful before I carefully put them in each place. Blaine helped me too and we spoke the whole time.

"How's your love life going?" He asked me. I liked Blaine but not in a romantic way. He was like a brother to me; plus he's gay.

"It's non-existent. How's Sebastian?"

"He dumped me." A rush of sympathy shook through me and immediately I hugged him. I had met a few of his boyfriends before but none of them lasted very long. Blaine was very quick to trust guys and not one of them really wanted anything serious yet they didn't even have the decency to tell him. He really liked Sebastian though and genuinely thought he could have a real relationship with him but I guess that Sebastian is a dick like the rest of them. I worried about Blaine sometimes but I would never tell him that.

A few hours later my shift ended and we both packed up making sure everyone was ready for the next people who were working. Blaine offered to walk me to my car which was in the car park across the road. It was getting a little dark and I knew he was only trying to be kind but I declined. It was only a few minutes' walk and I should be okay.

I crossed the street and waved goodbye at home before turning into the gloomy car park. My car was on the other side near the bottom since all the other spaces were occupied earlier. As I turned the corner I saw a group of men standing around a truck drinking beer. There were about five of them and they were really loud and crass with vulgar language. I just wanted to get to my car quickly. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up and it felt like someone behind me was watching me again!

I started walking more quickly to get to my car when I heard the first shout.

"Hey babe, wanna come take a ride on my joystick?" One of the men shouted at me making the others laugh and holler. I ignored them and carried on walking.

"Come on babe, come and taste my lollipop." Another stated. I heard footsteps behind me and suddenly felt myself being turned around. A white man with ginger hair was holding on to my arm so tight I was sure it would bruise. I could smell the alcohol on his breath and it made me start to feel sick.

"Let me go." I tried to sound braver than I actually felt but it came out like a mouse whisper.

"Oh no. We're just about to have some fun." He smiled and his other mates circled around me. I started to push and scream but it did no use. They all just laughed and one of them pushed me back. The ginger guy grabbed my other arm to hold me down when one of them pinched my bum. Terror ran through me making me freeze. I was now regretting not taking Blaine's offer of an escort but it was too late now.

Until I saw a flash of yellow. The next moment the ginger man was on the floor crying in pain. We all just stopped for a second and stared at him until another one fell and started bleeding from him mouth. A third guy staggered backwards holding his face as if he had been punched. All five of them started running away then and I felt someone's breath of my neck.

"Get in your car." The voice was so soft, it made me instantly trust them and I walked on shaky legs to my vehicle. I stopped in front of my door, too shocked to do anything else. What just happened? A blonde woman stood in front of me then; she was wearing all black and almost camouflaged into my car except for her blonde hair. The flash of yellow was her.

"How?" I couldn't speak anymore but she smiled softly and it made me wonder if everything about her was soft. I wanted to find out.

"I just beat up five guys to save you. I'm very quick." I tentatively placed my hand on her shoulder and her eyes widened. I didn't know why I had done it. I just wanted to.

"Thank you." I gave her a little smile yet all she did was nod.

"I have to go."

"Wait, I-I don't even know you. Don't go." I didn't want her to leave. This need that had made me trust her now wanted her to keep me safe for longer.

"I'll check in on you later Santana." She disappeared then and just like that the need for her was gone. It was as if I only wanted her when she was in my presence. I climbed into my car and drove the rest of the way home in silence, wondering who she was and why she had saved me.


	4. 3 Perplexity

**A/N You guys enjoying these frequent updates? Well don't get use to it. It's only because I've just got my laptop back and suddenly I feel like writing every day! I bet it's going to go soon though. But enjoy! (:**

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The minute I parked outside of my house I flew inside, locked the door and felt the familiar sights comfort me. I was in my own space now which was what I wanted all day. So why did I now not want to be alone? Was it because I knew my thoughts would plague me and I didn't want to think of the other possible scenarios which could have happened?

I started to make my way upstairs when my mother blocked my path. Her jet black hair which I inherited from her was messy implying to me she was stressed. She always worked under a deadline and rarely took a break so to see her without a desk stapled in front of her was a surprise.

"Santana, you don't look so well. Are you okay?" Concern laced her voice and I wondered about how I must appear right now.

"I'm fine." I muttered before edging round her and continuing upstairs. I heard her heels clack on our wooden floor and I bet any amount of money she would be back to working again before I had even touched my door.

I stepped into my room and looked at the pitch black walls, as dark as a midnight sky, and felt my stomach loosen. It had been in knots since the whole incident and now I was alone in a place that I knew and felt safe I was going to be okay. I grabbed a towel and decided to have a shower to cleanse myself of this night.

The hot steam did wonders to my muscles yet I still felt the man's hand on my bum. I felt violated but I knew it could have been a lot worse. My cherry shower gel managed to wash away layers of dirt and I started to feel like myself again. Not the Santana that stayed silent at school, or the one which put on a smile at the record shop; the real me, which just wanted some calm time. My worries fell down the drain along with the water.

I dried and creamed myself before stepping into my most comfortable pyjamas (which may have a few holes in them from wearing them so often) and going to the kitchen. As I made myself a hot cup of herbal tea I thought about her. My Superwoman. How did she know I was in danger? Was she watching me all day, that feeling I had? Maybe she was just in the right place at the right time. Whatever the reason was, she saved me from something so horrible I knew I would never have been okay again. I wanted to see her again, to thank her properly. But I also wanted to know everything about her. What her name was, was she the same masked hero from the news, why she did what she did.

I dragged myself to my room and sat down on my bed. It dipped a little yet it was still so soft it hugged my body. I started to chew on my nail and think. Should I report what happened? Or do I just try to forget? So many questions were weaving their way through my head that I didn't understand anything anymore. I was so confused and I didn't like feeling this way. So I made a sensible decision; I called a friend.

Kitty soon picked up and managed to get alone to listen to me and give me her undivided attention. I told her everything that had happened and she hummed along until I was finished. As soon as she was about to say something I saw a flash of yellow on my wall and found myself no longer listening to her. Superwoman strutted towards me and picked up my phone, pressing the disconnect button and throwing it on my bedside table. The black mask covering her face didn't hide her blue eyes. They were so bright, they reminded me of the ocean and I found myself getting lost in them.

"How do you do that?" I asked. She cocked her head to the side and stared at me questioningly. "Make me suddenly feel like I need you."

"It's a gift. Want me to stop it?" her voice rang like bells and I nodded. It felt like an elastic band snapping inside of me and now I didn't feel like I constantly needed her there. Yet part of me still wanted her.

"I'm still mesmerised by you." Her eyes widened and I think I saw a hint of a smile on her face.

"Then honey, that's just you." I chuckled before my phone started ringing again. I picked up and listened to Kitty rant about how she's worried about me now.

"Kitty, I can't talk. My mum's trying to speak to me."

"Well we are definitely having a chat tomorrow miss otherwise you will not be alive to see this weekend." I promised her before hanging up and found Superwoman frowning at the phone.

"She didn't mean the threat." I explained.

"You shouldn't have done that." She muttered. "You shouldn't have told her about me."

"I didn't know what else to do. You gave me no explanation and I was so confused!"

"I told you I would check in on you later and I am. I have to go." She stood up and started opening my window. Is that how she got in? I quickly followed and grabbed her arm as she was climbing out. She placed one leg on the floor and left her right one swinging outside.

"No, wait please. Don't go. I'm sorry but I can fix it. I can call her back and tell her it was a dream! Please don't leave me. I have so many questions." I said desperately. That wasn't my best moment but she had demeaned me to begging and I didn't care.

"Go to sleep. I'll see you tomorrow." Her voice was so gentle and I could feel her words floating over me. I could hardly believe this was the same woman who beat up five guys to save me. She jumped down and I looked out, wanting to see a sign of her.

"You better. I'll look out for you." I whispered in case she could hear me. I shut my window and climbed into my sheets. Wanting to forget this for a while I willed myself to fall asleep.


	5. 4 Deception

**A/N Hi everyone! I don't usually say this but I really do enjoy reading reviews so anything that you do say is really appreciated and thank you for the people that already have. :)**

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I followed my usual routine and found myself staring at the torturous wall of my school once again before my first lesson. I had a plan and that was to avoid Kitty until lunchtime and by then we would be surrounded by a lot of people so she couldn't ask me anything. Then avoid her in gym and run straight to my car when the last bell rings. Unfortunately nothing ever seems to go to plan.

"Santana, Kitty rang me last night and told me what you said to her. Are you okay? My God, I knew there were some sick people out there but why would anyone want to hurt you?" Marley clucked over me like a mother Hen and kept feeling my face as if she could tell I was fine by doing that. I pushed her hands away and walked to my locker only to stop and groan in the middle of the hallway.

Kitty pushed herself of my locker and strutted towards me. She could never just walk normally; either she walked like she was a model or she stomped her way through a dramatic exit. Her pursed lips and raised eyebrows told me she wasn't messing around. This was a complete opposite to the look on Marley's face. Her brown eyes were filled with such concern it was as if I was her baby. Her chestnut brown hair dangled in front of her face but she didn't care. It looked a mess, like she had rushed to school this morning.

"Santana, I'm only going to ask you this once. What happened last night?" She emphasised every word with another step towards me until she was inches away from my face. She may have been shorter than me but her glare seemed to make her tower over everyone's heads. I held my head up and looked her in the eye.

"It was a dream. Nothing happened on the way home from work but it seemed so vivid that when I woke up for a while I swore it happened. Eventually I saw sense and spoke to my mum. She said sometimes people get stuck in their dreams and have trouble coming to reality." A flicker of something passed into Kitty's eyes before leaving a second later. She stepped down and Marley started rubbing my arm in a comforting motion.

"Are you sure? Because if you want to report it we'll go with you." I shook my head at Marley's offer and linked my arm through hers. She rested her head against my shoulder and I watched Kitty walk away. I knew she would be mad at me for a while and she will always suspect something but I won't tell. Not after I promised Superwoman. It was strange though how I had only seen her twice yet somehow she had priority over my best friends. I was lying to them all because I wanted to see her again. I counted down the hours until I could see her again.

I replayed what happened last night through my head all the time until lunch. I didn't really speak then. The guys didn't say a word as I sat down with my food this time and I happily ate it in peace. Kitty sat next to me but refused to say anything. Marley smiled at me but understood that this was the time I needed to be silent. I was halfway through my portion of fries when something made me stop chewing and turned my blood cold.

How did she know my name?

Last night she called me Santana multiple times yet I never told her. I didn't tell anyone. The only way she could've known was if she saw me earlier. The last person to call me that was Blaine and if she saw me then, that must mean she followed me to the car park. Who knows how long she followed me for? The eyes I felt on me all day yesterday suddenly made sense. I felt sick and pushed my food away before running towards the toilets.

I dry heaved over the toilet seat before leaning against the wall and sitting there. What did this mean? Was my Superwoman some obsessive stalker? How did she even know my address? I started freaking out again. No, there had to be some logical explanation. She followed my car home. That's how. And she waited for me after my shower and until I was alone. Just to make sure I wasn't hurt.

That sounded crazy even to me. I stood up and made my way to the bathroom mirror, splashing some water on my face to freshen me up. In the mirror I saw her and gasped but when I turned around she was gone. My imagination was going wild now. I decided enough was enough and I couldn't handle another minute here at this hell hole. I went to the nurse's office and told her how I just vomited and did not feel well at all. After some melodramatic exaggeration she allowed me home early with some instructions on how to feel better. I texted my mum when I got in my car to tell her I was on my way home. She asked if I needed her but I just wanted to be alone.

Finally I arrived and showered once again. It always helped me to think when I was under the hot water. I covered myself with the mountain of blankets in my bed and just laid there in the dark. Was I safe? That was the real question.

I heard rustling behind me and knew she was back. I apprehensively dragged myself from under the covers and saw her black costume ripple with every step she took closer to me. Slowly I tore my eyes up to hers and saw them filled with the same concern Marley's held earlier.

"Are you okay?" She asked. I shook my head and felt tears pierce my eyes. I squeezed them shut to try and keep them from falling but one escaped anyway. A arm slid it's way around my waist and Superwoman pulled me closer as I cried. She smelt like strawberries and I sniffed her aroma around me; it was a little comforting even if my actions were creepy.

"How do you know my name?" I looked at her and saw her icy glare. What had I done wrong?

"Santana, you ask the wrong questions. But because I like you, I'll be honest. I was watching those guys in the parking lot for certain reasons when I heard you tell that boy you could watch alone. I got closer and heard him call you Santana." She spoke quietly, as if she was afraid that if she shouted something would break.

"Have you been following me?" She shook her head and smiled at me. I scooted a little closer to her.

"Not since lunchtime when I saw you run to the bathroom and be sick. Sorry I couldn't help you but someone was coming. I followed you here to make sure you were okay. Also, I heard you tell your friend last night was a dream. Thank you." Her gratitude sent a rush of happiness through me. I placed my head against her shoulder and she started to stroke my hair.

"But what about yesterday? I could feel your eyes on me all the time." She froze mid-motion and quickly stood up.

"What?" Her voice was loud not, alert. Something had startled her but I didn't know what. She ran to the window and locked it, throwing me the key. Superwoman pulled the curtain's shut and ran out of the room. I walked to the door and heard her going into every room in the house. She appeared in front of me again.

"Do you feel someone now?" I shook my head and she relaxed a little. I opened my mouth to ask her what was wrong when she guided me back to my bed and tucked me under the covers.

"I promise you now Santana, nothing is going to hurt you. Whatever it is that's stalking you I will protect you."

"What do you mean?" I said timidly. She started stroking my face and her lips pressed into a straight line. I touched them with my finger and felt her gasp slightly. They were red like strawberries and I wanted to taste them.

"I think you may be in danger. You just said someone is following you. But I won't let anything happen." It sounded like she was reassuring herself more than me but I didn't mind. I sat up on my elbows and leaned in closer.

"Turn it off." I was referring to her 'gift' she mentioned yesterday but I didn't know whether these urges were me or something controlling me.

"It was never on." She smiled again and I leaned in a little. We still had a block of space between us but I never felt closer to her.

"What's your name?" I asked.

She smirked. "My dear, do you not grasp the point of the mask? It's to hide my secret identity." She winked at me and I felt my stomach flutter.

"Everyone has a secret identity. Some are just so good at hiding them that they don't need masks." She smiled sweetly at me before getting up and walking to the window.

"Lock this after I leave. I'll be back tonight when it's dark." She swung her legs out when I went over and placed my arms around her from behind.

"I don't mind you following me." I muttered. She looked behind for a second and seemed to be longing for something.

"It's Brittany." She whispered before jumping down and disappearing again.

"Brittany." The word tasted sweet on my tongue and I smiled. Brittany was officially my new favourite word.


	6. 5 Frustration

**A/N This is officially the longest chapter I have ever written so enjoy it! Any reviews will be amazing and thank you to anyone that already has :) My fingers hurt from typing now so happy reading!**

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That night I had trouble sleeping. Not only was I haunted with visions of Brittany in my dreams, but I was annoyed that she hadn't returned like she promised. Then I felt even worse because she wasn't my babysitter and probably had better things to do than watch me cry and freak out again. Also my stomach was hurting me throughout the whole night and I didn't understand why. It wasn't until I woke up in the morning and found a humungous red stain on my pyjama bottoms and bed that I realised my period had come early. I honestly hated this time of the month.

That icky feeling I got made me feel so unclean that I just wanted to curl up in the shower for the next week. Not to mention the paranoia that everyone would be able to tell and the pain I get; this simply wasn't my bad. I swallowed two aspirins before driving to school. I already had that feeling that I could only describe as lifelessness. My emotions were all over the place and I didn't feel like myself. I was hungry but I didn't want to eat; I was sad but I wasn't, I was angry but I wasn't. Everything was so conflicting and I just really needed a hug. Unfortunately life was against me in that moment and I couldn't find Kitty or Marley before I had to go to class. We also had a quiz that lesson and with half my brain distracted on how awful I felt, I also got really bad headaches, I doubt I did any good on that exam.

When lunchtime came I ran straight towards Marley and just threw myself at her. One of the things I love about her was that you didn't even need to say anything; she would just comfort you anyway. She stroked my hair and whispered words of comfort about how it was going to be okay. She didn't even know what wasn't okay but I still allowed myself to believe her words.

I pulled myself away and she smiled at me. We picked up our lunch and said hi to her mother who was a dinner lady; I must've looked sad because she shared a look with Marley before placing an extra handful of chips onto my plate. I started feeling better knowing that people cared as we made our way over to our usual seats. Kitty rubbed my arm and leaned her head in. Her hazel gaze fixated on me and I just rubbed my stomach. Her mouth popped out a small 'oh' before squeezing my arm again.

Marley threw a slip of paper at me and I read her curly hand writing. **_My mum always said to me that the only way we get better is if we keep trying. It might just apply to that algebra test I was worrying about but maybe it could help here too! (:  
_**I chuckled and nodded at her. My eyes conveyed the thanks I was giving without actually having to say the words and in that moment I was glad she was my friend. That happy feeling didn't last very long though.

Sitting on that table was torture. Everyone was so loud and it did not help with my headache. With every passing second I felt myself getting more annoyed. When Puck started screaming at the guy opposite him about some football result I snapped.

"For God sake Puck! He's less than a metre in front of you, keep your voice down!" He looked at me with such shock and rage I almost regretted my actions. But then the pounding in my head brought me back to my senses.

"Jeez, calm down! Obviously someone's PMSing." He started laughing with his friends and I slammed my hand down on the table bringing attention back to me.

"Listen here, I'm only going to say this once. See how I can keep my voice down and still make a point? It's not rocket science you dipshit. Also, never use the hell that is a woman's period as an excuse as to why a lady is pissed at you. If you do I will personally punch you in the face, understand you stupid little pube?" I said threateningly. His mouth was in an O and his eyes were as wide as buttons. I didn't wait for an answer before leaving the cafeteria and just walking.

After walking around for a while I sat down next to some random lockers. Closing my eyes, I tilted my head back and just breathed in. Kitty found me like that and sat in front of me.

"Just so you know we're not friends with those guys for a while. Apparently saying how his dick is as small as his nose is a sure way of pissing off Puck. So now they have to find a new table and I bet they're gonna start talking soon so we have to stop a certain rumour flying around about you." I like Kitty, I really do, but I just couldn't handle her right now.

"I don't care what he says about me. Who gives a crap if everyone believes something stupid about me? I don't care about these people."

"Well you should. As co-head cheerleader you have a reputation to uphold and we cannot have our squad made a fool out of just because one guy thinks he's smarter than the rest of us. We can fix this."

"Maybe I don't want to be a cheerleader anymore!" I threw my hands up in defeat and Kitty looked like I had just slapped her.

"Santana of course you do! This is everything that anybody would want."

"Yeah? Well not me." I stood up and ran away, ignoring Kitty calling my name anymore. I found myself standing outside of the auditorium doors and pushed my way inside. It was empty yet the lights on the stage were still on. A black piano occupied the middle of the stage and I found myself drifting towards it. The contrasting keys beckoned me and I started gliding my finger over them, awakening the angelic sounds.

I sat down and started playing a few notes. I couldn't resist the temptation to start playing an actual song and soon I was singing along to one of my favourite songs.

_Just close your eyes, the sun is going down._

I was swallowed by the song; losing myself and forgetting everything around me.

_You'll be alright; no one can hurt you now._

The music floated around my body and I embraced it, eager to just keep it around me always.

_Come morning light._

I took some deep breathes before continuing. I couldn't understand why I was getting so emotional but something about singing right now made me feel better.

_You and I'll be safe and sound._

I held my eyes closed when the song finished and didn't move. I was afraid if I did I would lose this blanket of comfort wrapped around me.

"That was beautiful." A voice from behind me shattered the illusion and I slowly spun around to see a girl standing there. She was smiling and holding pages of sheet music in her hands.

"Thank you." I kept looking at her, wondering what she was doing here.

"I'm Mercedes. You probably don't recognise me but we have Spanish together. I just wanted to say that you sounded really good." She seemed nervous and smiled once more before turning away.

"Where do you sit?" I asked. I didn't want to appear mean, that wasn't who I was. She looked nice, like somebody who I could actually have a conversation with.

"In the second row next to Darren. He smells like he doesn't even know that the shower has been invented but other than that it's a good seat."

"Maybe you should sit next to me instead. It's an empty space anyway." It wasn't but I was 86% sure I could get the girl to move away. Mercedes smiled and nodded before leaving and I felt better than I did ten minutes ago.

The rest of the day passed as well as my shift. Blaine was especially nice to me today, making me hot drinks and hugging me randomly just because he knew how much I hated my period. When I got home I showered and felt more human again before sitting on my chair next to my desk. I decided to occupy my mind by completing my homework. Kitty texted me whilst I was writing an essay telling me that since I had missed the past two cheer practices I was in trouble. I didn't care.

Around nine, when the sky was turning from that deep blue to black, a knock came from my window and I looked into the eyes of Brittany. I unlocked the window and just sat back down, finishing the last worksheet I had. She stood behind me but neither of us said anything. I was still hurt she didn't come back like she promised.

When I finished I stood up and started to walk around her when she grabbed my arm and pulled me towards her.

"What's wrong?" I could smell the strawberries on her again and wondered if she used some special shower gel or shampoo.

"Nothing. I just don't particularly like having a promise that was made to me broken." I snapped. She let go then and I sat down on my bed, crossing my legs.

"I had to help someone. By the time I was done it was late."

"You still could've come by. I don't care if you wake me up. Heck, you could've left a note!" I huffed before pulling my hair around one shoulder and playing with it. My stomach felt as if it was being stabbed numerous times and I groaned. What did I do to ever deserve this?

"I'll keep that in mind for next time." She approached the bed and sat down on the edge. "What else is wrong?"

"It's nothing."

"It's obviously something if you're suffering out loud about it. You're the quietest person I know. This is really bothering you."

"It's just my period." She pressed her lips into a thin line and looked away.

"What can I do?"

"Nothing. I don't need to throw all of my problems onto you."

"Why not? I want to help you."

"Why? You don't even know me." This woman was seriously confusing me. No matter how much I was attracted to her I still didn't understand her angle.

"It helps me to know that someone in this world still needs me. Even for the little things." I was completely baffled by her statement but one thing was for sure. Something had upset Superwoman in her life and she was in pain. Not the kind of pain I was in, the kind that never really goes away; the kind that tricks you into thinking it's numbing but one day comes back with a bite.

We sat in silence and I felt oddly comfortable just being there with her.

"Why do you keep coming back to me?" I asked.

"Do you want me to stop?" She countered. She looked so vulnerable and upset that I instinctively grabbed her hand.

"No! Gosh, no! I was just curious."

"I like you. I said so the second night we met." As soon as she spoke, her body just closed up and she pulled away, sitting back a bit.

"I heard you singing today." Brittany muttered after a few more minutes of (awkward) silence.

"I enjoyed it." I replied.

"It was so amazing to watch you lose yourself in that song. You could hear in your voice this raw emotion and I just couldn't look away! I-" She stopped midway and stared at me. Her eyes were hypnotised on my face and they flickered to my lips a few times. I planted my hands in the space on the bed between us and leaned in. Centimetres away from her face I saw a few of her freckles were scattered on her nose and cheeks. I loved them and found myself with the urge to kiss every single one.

"Looks like the roles have swapped Superwoman; I'm the one enticing you." My voice was raspy and a little breathy. She gasped a little and sat up straighter.

"Superwoman?" She raised her perfect eyebrow and smirked.

"It's what I called you before I learnt your name. Brittany." It rolled of my tongue and her eyes gleamed when I said her name.

"If I'm Superwoman then are you the damsel in distress?" She teased. I chuckled rolled my bottom lip between my teeth.

"That depends. Will you always be there to catch me when I fall?"

"Yes. Unless I'm falling with you."

It didn't feel like we were talking about nicknames anymore.


	7. 6 Constraint

**Sorry this took a while but my internet was broken :( Anyway, enjoy!**

* * *

That week, I received my first note.

It started out as a normal day. I was feeling better now that everything had calmed down now and Brittany was still sneaking in to speak to me at night. Things had been a bit awkward at first since she said those words and she always ran off suddenly, claiming someone needed her help. But now it was slowly starting to feel more comfortable again and we just talked and got to know each other. She never took off her mask and never indulged about her personal life. Instead she asked about me and told me what she liked me doing. I noticed she especially liked my singing so I made an effort to sing more when I could feel her watching. It was brief but she seemed happier the days that I did.

I also started speaking to Mercedes more. The girl next to me had no problem swapping with Mercedes since she had a little crush on Darren, which was gross, but on the bright side, we got to know each other in Spanish. She told me about how she wanted to be a singer and is planning to move to LA when she's older. I loved her ambition and how confident she was; no one could tell her that she wouldn't make it because she genuinely believed she could.

I stayed after school one day to listen to her sing and I was blown away! Her voice was phenomenal and whenever she hit the high notes, I got goose bumps. Brittany was watching us one day so I decided to perform a duet with Mercedes. It was a lot of fun and part of me forgot Brittany was there because I was so involved with singing. That night her face was glowing when she spoke about our song.

On Thursday things changed. I was walking to my locker, like normal, and I was half asleep which was still normal. But when I pried open the rusty door a flutter of paper fell down and I reached for it.

_I bet red would be a good colour for you. I want to see you dripping in blood._

To say the note scared me would be an understatement. My whole body went cold and I didn't move. Dripping in blood? What did that mean? I didn't understand whether this was a threat or someone's idea of a messed up joke. I almost jumped out of my skin when a hand clamped down on my shoulder.

"Sorry! Didn't mean to scare you." Sam leaned on the locker next to mine and slowly I started to go about my normal routine of picking my book out and shutting the door. My heart was still racing from the note.

"What do you want Sam?" I scowled at him and noticed how nervous he looked.

"I heard you got kicked off the cheerios." That was a messy conversation I had with Kitty, I didn't want to be a cheerleader anymore and she refused to let me go. Luckily our coach was more understanding and let me go after giving me a lecture about team spirit and how I can't always quit in life.

"I just didn't want to do it anymore."

"Well you look better in your own clothes, more human." He replied. I turned away from him and yet he started to follow me down the hallway.

"I still down understand what you want and why you're talking to me." I stopped and faced him now. Looking at Sam I could understand why girls found him attractive, even with his humungous lips, but his personality just cancelled that out.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go out sometime."

I scoffed. "Are you serious? After all the crap you say to me about eating and you think I want to date you?" I rolled my eyes and started to walk away again when he grabbed my arm and pulled me back.

"No, I just thought you'd know."

"Know what?"

"What it's like having to pretend. To say the right things in front of people just to fit it, to be popular. Yes, it's great having people know your name and thinking highly as you walk past but it's tiring not truly being yourself. You get it. It's why you only talk to Kitty and Marley, why you don't want to be a cheerleader anymore. You're different." I was silent after his speech, how did he know?

"I get it." I finally whispered. He dropped my arm before leaning in.

"Just think about it." He walked away and I was rooted to the ground, watching him go. Now my mind was preoccupied with the note and his words. I shook my head, trying to clear it, before walking to my class.

That night, Brittany came in, looking upset.

"What's wrong Superwoman?" I asked. I shuffled down my bed to make space for her. It was like an unspoken, concerted agreement that I would sit on the right side of the bed and she would sit on the left. Some part of our body would always be touching and that part of my body would always tingle with excitement. Sometimes I wish I was a mind reader, just to know what she was truly thinking.

"Nothing."

"Don't lie to me. I know something's bothering you." I nudged her and she smiled a little.

"I heard that guy ask you out today." She averted her gaze and her whole face drooped. Damn you Sam, complicating things further.

"Oh. It's nothing. I didn't say yes or anything." We sat in silence for a while until she spoke up again.

"I need to go."

"What? Why? You don't need to leave." I grabbed her hand and pulled her towards me. She sucked in a breath quickly before backing away and rushing towards the window. She jumped out before I could say anything more and I fell back onto my bed, throwing my hand over my forehead. It always annoyed me how hot and cold she blew; why was she such a mystery?

The next day at lunch I decided to observe Sam a little more closely. I sat down next to Kitty and she shifted an inch away from me. She wasn't particularly happy with my choice of giving up my 'popularity' (her words, not mine) but she still spoke to me sometimes. Marley tried to make up for it by speaking to me more and while I appreciated the effort, I wasn't really bothered. If Kitty was my friend, we'll get over this.

"Hey, do you wanna go and see a movie this weekend?" Marley asked. Kitty turned her head to look at us and I nodded. Marley smiled before raising her eyebrows at Kitty, asking her without speaking.

"Maybe. I'll text you later Marley." She flicked her golden hair and carried on speaking at Jake. I just started eating and glanced at Sam. The longer I looked, the more I realised what he meant. Whenever he laughed it was always a second after everyone else, he hesitated before speaking as if questioning whether or not he should say anything. A few times he caught my eye and smiled before I ducked my head away.

Walking to my next lesson, Marley hummed before she spoke.

"Santana," she asked in a sweet tone, "why were you staring at Sam all through lunch?"

I sighed. "He asked me out yesterday and-" She squealed before throwing her arms around me. I gently pushed off her me but she didn't stop jumping around.

"You'd be so good together! I can see it, how sweet he'd be and how confident you'll become around him. I love it!" Her face was shining and my mind flickered to Brittany. I quickly looked to see if she was here but I couldn't see any indication of her.

"But, have you ever liked someone, even if you haven't known them for very long?" I pulled Marley closer and started to whisper.

"Who is this about?"

"A couple of weeks ago I met someone and we've been seeing each other regularly. I'm kinda sure they like me but they haven't said anything and I don't know what to do." She chewed on her lip for a few minutes before answering.

"I think you need to have a certain answer before you do anything. It may just be because I'm biased about Sam but you shouldn't discard him on a chance this person likes you. He definitely has feelings for you so give it a chance." She squeezed my arm before walking ahead. I lagged behind just thinking.

After a long day and an uneventful shift at work, I crawled into my room and opened my drawer next to my bed. The thin sliver of paper rested gently between my forefinger and thumb. I opened it tentatively, afraid it might bite me. It felt silly but I was starting to feel genuinely scared of what it meant.

_I bet red would be a good colour for you. I want to see you dripping in blood._

The words still sent shivers down my spine and quickly I slammed it back into my drawer and shut it with a slam.

"You said you'd protect me Britt, but from what?" I muttered before unlocking my window and settling into my bed, waiting for her.


	8. 7 Incertitude

"Look, I understand you're under a lot of stress right now but you can't just bail on us. We need you and your amazing flexibility to win us a trophy. Don't you understand?" For the past ten minutes Kitty had been chewing me up about quitting the Cheerios. I hadn't managed to get a word in edgeways but I refused to try again in fear she would go wild.

Marley had somehow convinced her that she should talk to me and not throw away our entire friendship over this silly dispute. I didn't want to lose one of my two (maybe three) friends but right now I was tired of Kitty expecting me to do everything she said.

When I was younger I use to hold my mum's hand whenever we crossed the road. She always told me to and I never questioned it; all of my friends did it to so I part of me felt compelled to because they did. Then one day I realised that I didn't need to hold her hand anymore. I was perfectly capable of walking down the street without gripping onto her. So I just let go and kept walking. She stopped for a second and looked down before carrying on. She still talks about it now; the moment it hit her that I was growing up. This is what it is like now. I am growing up and becoming my own person yet the only difference is my mum could accept that and Kitty can't.

"So I expect to see you after school today, got it?" Kitty raised her eyebrows at me and I sighed. I felt the familiar sense of Brittany watching me and I started thinking: why did I always have to listen to her? Brittany seemed confident enough doing her own thing so why should I rely on Kitty?

"I can't. I have a thing." I spun around and waltzed away, leaving her there. If I looked back I was sure she would be going red and throwing daggers at me with her eyes. But I just carried on walking until I entered the toilets and locked myself in a cubicle. Brittany appeared behind me and I sat down on the toilet lid.

"Finally." Was all she said and I smiled at her. She knew how I felt and she always told me to stand up for myself.

"It took a while but I feel good now. More whole." She nodded as if she understood yet part of me didn't even understand what I was saying. It did feel good to finally do what I want but now the realisation had set in and I knew Kitty was going to be angrier at me.

"So what is this thing you have tonight?" Her eyes twinkled and I felt a stab of guilt; she thought I meant her.

I cleared my throat before speaking. "I have a date. Sam asked me to a movie tonight." Her face fell but luckily I was bought some time as somebody came into the toilets to wash their hands. I took a few deep breaths as I watched Brittany lose all expression on her face.

"I didn't know you liked Sam."

"He seems nice and I definitely know he likes me so I figured why not. Besides, it's just a movie. Not a marriage or a declaration of love."

"I see." She shook her head and I jumped up, placing a hand on her arm. She shook me off before glaring right into my eyes. "What if he's not the only person who has feelings for you?"

"Then it would depend on who told me they liked me and if I liked them back." I stared back at her waiting for something to happen. She didn't even flinch and I found that icy stare hurt me. No longer were her blue eyes calm and welcoming.

"Say something." I begged. She opened her mouth a few times before looking away. This hurt too much so I slowly walked away. I waited for her too call me back or do something but all I was greeted with was the cold harsh reality of how many people I may have just lost.

The rest of the day I could feel people staring like I did before I met Brittany but I couldn't see her. At lunchtime I never felt like I was safe and decided to just hide in the library instead.

That evening I met Sam outside of the cinema. The chilly air wrapped around my legs and I silently hated Marley for making me wear a tight dress. Sam loved it though and at times I saw him staring at me from behind before looking away when I caught him.

During the film he was polite enough and we even held hands but it felt wrong. This wasn't the person I should be doing this with. Afterwards he walked me back to my car and we stopped outside the door.

"I had a great time with you tonight." He smiled. This wasn't fair to him, feeling like I shouldn't be doing this whilst he was enjoying himself. But then again, what Brittany wasn't doing was fair either. She expected me to want her yet I never got anything back. So I decided to indulge myself for once and be brave.

"I did too. Thank you and we should do this again." His face light up.

"How about tomorrow?"

"Sounds great." I replied. He stood there for a second and I realised this was now that awkward should-we-kiss-or-now moment. Before he did anything I leaned up and pressed my lips against his. One hand wrapped around my waist while the other cupped the back of my head. I kept mine of his waist. His lips felt a little soft but foreign. I hadn't had much experience at this and I was a virgin but from the way he was reacting I was doing something right.

I pulled away first and he leaned his forehead onto mine. Our breaths were heavy and I squeezed my eyes shut. I heard him chuckled and opened my eyes to see him staring at my face intently.

"You're blushing." His knuckles grazed my cheeks and I stepped back. He smiled at me again before we said goodbye and I drove home.

"I'm serious! She almost killed her for just looking at him!" Sam tipped his head back and roared with laughter as I spoke. I had trouble getting my story out as I was giggling. We were currently sat in a booth at a diner after school. I had to admit I was having a lot of fun with Sam but the only downside was that Brittany was currently avoiding me. Last night she didn't visit me in my room and I refused to sleep, believing she was going to arrive soon.

"So Kitty's very protective of Jake." Sam brought me back to reality again.

"By protective you mean controlling and dominant then yes she is. Never get in the way of her and her desires." He chuckled again.

"I'll keep that in mind."

When I arrived home that evening I found my mum packing a suitcase in her room.

"Where are you going?" I asked.

"I have to leave for a few days. We have this big business meeting out of town and I won't be back till Sunday. There's money here for food and if you have any trouble go to Miss Pots next door and she'll help you." I stood in the middle of her room, watching her fly around. I really did miss my mum; even when she's here it's like she isn't really.

"Maybe when you get back we can have dinner together." I offered. She stopped packing and looked at me, I mean really looked at me. She walked over slowly and cupped my face.

"I would love that." She kissed my forehead before continuing to pack so I took that as my cue to go.

"Just one more, okay?" Sam passed me another glass of alcohol and I gratefully took it from him. It was currently Friday and we had spent every day after school together. I enjoyed spending time with him and he seemed to really like me. We were in his room and drinking, something which I rarely did. His family was out at the cinema so we had the house to ourselves and Sam managed to persuade Puck to buy him some alcohol. I felt really warm yet dizzy at the same time.

Brittany still hadn't come back. I waited every night but I was alone. This was the latest I had ever stayed away from home and I didn't care. No one knew my mum wasn't home apart from me so I decided to spend more time with Sam.

"I really like you." He whispered. I giggled, making my drink slosh around and spill a little of his shirt.

"I like you too." I whispered back. He smirked and came closer until he was sitting right next to me on his bed.

"Maybe you can show me how much you like me." He placed a hand on my leg and I spilt my entire drink on both of our shirts then.

"Crap! I'm sorry, let me get that." I rubbed my hands over his stain and he laughed quietly. He pulled my hands away and casually threw his shirt off.

"It's okay. But like I was saying, I think we should do something to prove to each other how much we like each other." My head started to hurt and everything was a little blurry around the edges.

"Like what?" He kissed me then and I did too until his hand moved up to my skirt. I pulled back a little.

"I don't think we should."

"Why not? Everyone's doing it and I really like you!" His eyes were pleading with me and with my cloudy sense of judgement, I said yes.

Afterwards I made up an excuse and went home but not before he kissed me goodnight. I did like Sam but what we just did felt extremely wrong. I pushed the front door open and glanced up the stairs to see my bedroom light on. I cautiously entered the room to find Brittany sitting on my bed. She instantly ran towards me and held me at arm's length.

"Where the hell were you? I was so worried! And why do you smell like alcohol? Were you drinking?" Her words rushed out at once and blended together. I shushed her before walking to my bed and sitting on the edge.

"I was at Sam's house." She frowned and I started to feel even more terrible. "We had sex but I don't think we should've." She sat down next to me then.

"Why?"

"Because I don't like him like I like you." I started crying then and collapsed onto Brittany's chest. She stroked my hair and spoke sweet words of encouragement. I soon feel asleep.

It had been almost a month since that night I slept with Sam and we hadn't done anything since. We still went out frequently but the only difference is Brittany came every night again. We never spoke about Sam and I started to feel conflicted about dating him.

I was sitting in the bathroom counting down the seconds. Only one more minute left. It was around ten at night which meant Brittany would be here soon so I had to be quick. Mum didn't know what I was doing. We had gone out for dinner like planned and it was amazing. But ever since it just went back to before. She was still unavailable.

Ten seconds. I braced myself for what I was about to find out and re-read the instructions again just be sure. When it was time I took one final calming breath before holding the stick up.

Two lines.

I was pregnant.


	9. 8 Amorous

**I feel like I use the word colour, baby and Christmas too much in this chapter.**

**Also, I promised this chapter to Clara for our 3 month anniversary! Happy (kinda late) anniversary woman :) Lots of love coming your way and I hope you enjoy this.**

**Thank you to the people who left reviews on the last chapter, it was really fun to see your thoughts on Santana's pregnancy.**

**Enjoy :)**

* * *

When I was a young teen, my mother gave me a speech about safe sex and how important it was that I didn't end up pregnant when I was young and not ready. Even though I was incredibly embarrassed and it was one of the rare moments she took time out of her schedule to talk to me, it felt like a moment every teenage girl and her mother went through.

"Santana, you are a beautiful girl and boys are going to notice this. Whatever you do, always use a condom. It only takes one time of unprotected sex to get pregnant and those odds aren't very good ones." She looked me in the eye and I nodded. What she didn't explain to me was that when you're conflicted, drunk and you have a guy asking for sex you decide to go ahead without truly thinking it through.

I managed to convince my mum that I was ill and I needed the day off of school after I had taken the test. It was currently hidden in my drawer behind my socks. She tucked me into bed before leaving for work and I just laid there. How could I have been so stupid?

Sam called me later on in the day but I ignored him. Marley phoned afterwards but I declined her call too. I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone, not even Superwoman. I was running through my mind, trying to think of a way to solve this. I cannot have a baby. Not only am I not ready but it wouldn't be fair to bring a child into this world if I wouldn't be able to look after it properly.

But I can't get an abortion. I would need to tell mum and I don't have the money for it. I decided to look online for any advice and accidently found something. It was a home method for getting rid of a pregnancy. A lot of people advised I should go to the doctor but this way seemed more secluded. It recommended I took _6-12 grams of vitamin C for 5-10 days, especially ascorbic acid. This should induce a period._ I wrote down what it said and made my way to the nearest pharmacy.

That night Brittany came in.

"How are you?" She asked.

"Ask me again in 10 days." I replied. She looked confused but shrugged it off before I could say anything more.

"Have you spoken to Sam?"

"Why do you care? You never came around after I was with him! Why are you suddenly so interested now?"

"I was here on Friday. Besides I do have a duty to protect innocent people, not just you."

"Why were you here on Friday?" I screamed.

"I was worried about you! People are watching you for some reason and I need to know why."

"Just go away! I don't need you protecting me if you're so busy with everyone else in this whole goddamn world." She glared at me for a moment before jumping out of the window. I cursed before opening it after her.

"Brittany!" I realised it was stupid of me to take my anger out on her. I wanted her back and to apologise. I just wanted her with me.

"Hey babe, you haven't been returning my calls." Sam stood next to me as I grabbed my books. It was the next day and I had just started my vitamin C course. I started to walk away when he pulled me back.

"Did I do something wrong? Because if I did I'm sorry." I felt really horrible but I couldn't do this anymore.

"I'm breaking up with you."

"What? Why?" He looked shocked and genuinely upset which made me feel like an even more horrible person.

"I just can't," I spoke without any emotion as it was easier, "deal with any more stress in my life right now." I muttered sorry before walking away. This time he let me.

_Babies have feelings too Santana. Or has your relationship with your mother made you forget that._

I crumpled the stupid piece of paper before opening my sock drawer to stick it in there. This was the second mysterious note I had received only this one was placed in my car seat. I had re-read it so many times I knew it off by heart like the first one. I moved my socks to hide the paper and shut the drawer. That's when I realised my pregnancy test was on my window sill and not in the drawer.

"Mum," I shouted, "did you move my stuff?"

"No mija, no one has been in at all today." I scowled at the test before hiding it again.

The first thing I registered was the pain. I was lying in bed and my stomach was experiencing the worst pain I had ever felt in my entire life. The next thing I registered was someone saying my name and pulling the blanket off of me.

"No, no, no, Santana wake up! Don't you dare die on me!" I turned and was faced with Brittany looking panicked and trying to move me off of the bed.

"Britt." My voice was feeble and only came out in a whisper. I was tired but it hurt. I knew this was just the vitamin C working and part of me was glad but Brittany was really worrying me right now.

"We can get you to a hospital, I can run and drop you off. But don't die." She was crying and screeching through her tears.

"Brittany." I managed to get out. She stopped talking but still flared about.

"It's just the baby." I said louder now. Her head snapped up to me and she was still a mess.

"Baby?" She muttered. I nodded and she looked down at the blood in my legs again. I explained quietly what was happening and she listened silently, not once taking her eyes off my legs. When I finished she placed both hands before closing her eyes.

My legs started to feel a comforting warmth and slowly the pain subsided. The blood stopped and her hands radiated light onto where she was touching me. After a minute she stopped and suddenly I was feeling better. She had healed me.

"We should clean you up." I nodded an agreement and stood up tentatively. She hovered next to me and grabbed my bed sheets before disappearing for a second. I only blinked and she was back with me again and I could hear the washing machine on. I frowned and she just chuckled.

We walked to the bathroom and I thanked God that my mum was away tonight. I spent a while in the shower trying to process what had happened to me. I had just lost a child and the only person who knew about it was my Superwoman. The woman who came back even though I was horrible. Who stayed even though she knows I just killed my child. The thought made me cry and I released an ocean of tears.

When I got out Brittany helped me into some clean pyjamas. My bed had new covers now and I started tearing up again. She enveloped me in a hug and I just cried on her shoulder.

"Thank you." I said. She smiled sadly, as if to say _I couldn't just walk away. _But she didn't say anything and I sat down next to her. "How did you do that?"

"Do what?" she replied.

"Move so quickly and heal me." It sounded strange to say this out loud.

"I'm Superwoman. " She shrugged and I got the feeling she wasn't really okay with talking about it.

"What else can you do?"

She contemplated this for a moment before talking. "I'm very strong. I am smart. I can't heal everything though so I just try and get people medical help before I waste time trying to help them myself." She paused and glanced to the window before leaning on my shoulder.

"I can do lots of things because of very evil people. People who hurt me and made me hate the world and everything inside of it."

"Do you still hate the world now?"

"Yes, apart from you. But that's only because you don't mean to hurt me. Even when you shouted at me last time I felt that you didn't mean it and I knew that. It's why I came back. Unlike everyone else who tries to capture me and get me in trouble even after I help them."

"So why do you try to help them? You don't owe them anything if they hurt you." This wave of protectiveness was so sudden to me and foreign I hardly recognised it at first. This compelling need to shed Brittany from all the evil in the world was taking over me and I found myself edging closer to her. If she noticed she didn't say.

"This world is a black and white one. It's not until we find ourselves slipping away from it that we start to paint the place with splashes of colour. I am the paintbrush for these people and without me this world would truly be colourless." The look on her face was a wistful one; maybe this was her way of saying she could not see clearly. I pushed a golden lock out of her eyes and held my hand on her cheek.

"So who is your paintbrush?" I asked.

"You." She replied. I didn't know what to say so I ducked my head and walked towards the window.

"White isn't always bad though. Just because something is colourful doesn't make it beautiful or okay. Snow is colourless and a lot of people think that it's beautiful. Some people pray for a white Christmas. Why give these people colour when being plain is just as nice?"

"People wish for a white Christmas because the rest of the year is so bright. We can't enjoy the world in its simple form without experiencing the colours with it." I just hummed at her response before focusing my gaze on the sight in front of me.

The sky was a dark blanket covering the city; raindrops splattered onto the window matching my earlier mood in the shower. Grey clouds hovered about the world and I carried my gaze away. The only sources of light were the moon and the Christmas lights aligning the top of my bed.. The rainbow of colours illuminated onto the walls making our shadows echo our every move. She gingerly came up behind me.

"I like the rain." As I spoke, her hot breath floated on my neck making me get goose bumps. I didn't know what it was about her but something she did made every moment more intense. The simple things were different and I knew that as I stared out at the rain punching the window, I was falling deeply for her.

"Why?" she asked. It was just a one word question yet it seemed so intimate to be having this conversation with her. We were talking about the weather yet it felt like I was bearing my soul to her. If I did then I had nothing left to hide, she would've seen every single piece of me and that scared me. She was making me vulnerable. Yet I trusted her and I wanted to see her, the real her. Not the Brittany that hides from her past or the Brittany that saves people's lives. The invisible Brittany that only comes alive when she lets someone in.

"Because even though it's meant to be enjoyed in the company of someone else, I still like to listen to it in the background when I'm alone. It's peaceful and relaxing to me. The rain gives me a reason to hide yet if I'm with someone, we're in our own place of solitude; the raindrops hide us from the rest of the world." She slid closer to me even more and placed her hand on the lower part of my back. I turned around and started to drink in her features as I waited with baited breath for her to speak.

"I wish you'd stop hiding." She muttered, her eyes focusing on everywhere but my own.

"I wish you'd hide with me." That caught her attention and she cautiously bent her head down, giving me a chance to move away. But I didn't want to. I gently placed my lips against hers and felt a tingle shoot through me. It was a simple kiss but it felt so raw and suddenly I wanted to do it again. So I did. I wrapped my arms around her neck and she pulled me closer too. Her lips felt so soft and I gently bit her lower lip creating a sigh from her. We pulled apart and I saw she had a goofy smile on her face.

"I've wanted to do that for a while." She sat down on my bed again and pulled me down as she spoke.

"Me too."

We spent the rest of the night lying together, talking about things I never thought I would admit to someone and creating sweet moments with those kisses.


End file.
